Of Frying Pans and Government Liaisons
by kbomb234
Summary: This is why Galloway should learn not to whine too much around Katana and Sabre... Warning: Katana's foul mouth and abuse of liaisons  but who cares about the last part, certainly not me!


Kbomb234 in the hiz-ouse! Bringing y'all a new story from the dark and insane depths of my mind! This one was conceived after contemplating the use of a frying pan as a weapon. -_-'Don't question my mind; it will be a long and useless process! ^_- Enjoy my loverlies!

"Ok, fine then! I'll make my own fucking breakfast!" an irritated voice snarled.

Katana stormed into the kitchen, swearing violently. She wanted to make a good breakfast because she was sick and tired of the rations. To be polite, they tasted like crap.

The intercom turned on and she stopped to listen. Suddenly, the Chevy twins went rolling down the hallway, loudly arguing and trading punches. Primus knows why they were fighting, but it sure made it hard to hear what was going on.

"-thank you. That is all," came over the intercom before it went dead. Katana bit her lip, worried that she missed something crucial, but she shrugged her shoulders. It couldn't have been that important, right?

But what the blue twin didn't realize was that the announcement was alerting the base that the Decepticon alarm about to go off was just a test and to ignore it. So Katana had no idea the havoc she was unwittingly about to cause.

Sabre, Optimus, Lennox, and Galloway were currently debating (or listening to the liaison whine) the efficiency of the Decepticon alarm. It had just gone off and Galloway was complaining that it wasn't effective enough to adhere to regulations. Not to mention about the amount of taxpayers' dollars that funded the system.

Suddenly, they could hear yelling that was getting louder and louder as the person got nearer.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! IT'S A MUTHAFUCKING DECEPTICON ATTACK! GET TO TEH MUTHAFUCKING CHOPPER, BITCHES!" Katana raced out of the hallway, waving a frying pan frantically. (She had forgotten the pan was in her hand because of her haste to spread the news.) The four stared in shock as Katana ran around the compound, still shouting.

"CALL TEH ARMY! CALL TEH NAVY! HELL, CALL TEH CANADIAN MOUNTIES! FOR TEH LOVE OF GOD, LET'S GE-OH _**FUCK**_ NO! GET TEH FUCK AWAY FROM ME, YOU SON OF A DECEPTIBITCH!" In the middle of her rant, Katana had bumped into Galloway.

*PPPPOOOOONNNNGGGG* Galloway crumpled to the floor in a dead faint as Katana gave him a mighty whack across the face with her pan. There was a moment of stunned silence as the four, besides Galloway, slowly realized what just happened.

"Oh God, please don't tell me that that was just a drill," Katana said, after the adrenaline rush had passed. Lennox and Optimus were still processing what had happened, so it was up to Sabre to explain.

"Fine then. It wasn't a drill," she drawled sarcastically back to her sister. Katana winced and dropped the pan.

"Shit. Well, this is embarrassing..., but! There is one bit of good news."

Sabre arched an eyebrow. "What?"

"Ding dong, the witch is dead. Ding ding dong, the witch is dead. Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead!" she sang as she skipped around Galloway's collapsed frame. Sabre laughed and linked arms with her sister as they continued singing and skipping around Galloway.

Will groaned and facepalmed. Why did the twin mistresses of sarcasm have to be so, well, snarky? But at least Katana gave him a bit of change from the whiny liaison's complaints.

Grabbing the liaison's feet, the twins began dragging him out of the hanger and continued to sing their insulting ditty. The Lambo twins passed by, stopped, and began laughing their helms off. They collapsed on the floor, laughing and rolling for all they were worth. The Spark twins continued to drag the liaison through the base; causing hilarity and laughter to everyone they passed. Reaching a broom closet, they hogtied Galloway, who was still unconscious. (Katana's pan shot really had him down for the count.) They slung him into the closet and locked the door behind him. Katana turned to her twin and smirked.

"You guys should do drills more often when he's here. I'm sure I can find ways to make his stay more... interesting." She purred, thinking of all the wonderful pranks and tricks she could play on him.

"Sometimes I worry about your mental state..." Sabre muttered playfully. The two laughed, and walked off. The score was officially NEST: over 9,000, Galloway: 0.


End file.
